Blaze of Glory

Hi peeps,

what I will be sharing today will not be involved with any sexual contents. It will be an encounter about civil war.

This write up was about my CS whom I met back then. He was in military field. To be honest, I'm not supposed to share this as it highly confidential. Back then, he knew about it and did request me to take it down if it ok. But, since it already past few years, I guess it alright to share over here. 

Posted on my work thread on 14th Dec 2015


Last few days ago, I met this CS, Z. I will not reveal too much of his name as a protection of his identity and due to his field. An ordinary fella who has a tan complexion probably due to his heritage too. When in my room, we started to chat abt casual stuffs. Before that, I was actually raving on some incident that I had previously with a housekeeper who pissed me off. He just replied me with a smile "Oh ok. I see. Just relax." After learning of what he had went through, I think that my incident was just a peanut compared to his. It all started wif a simple topic that Singaporean sometimes take things too serious and in their comfort zone too easily. Probably due to his work in overseas as he said. So I started to ask what he working as and where. I thought he might be in shipping field due to his complexion. He told me I would not like to know where the place he worked. So I made a guess to a more 3rd world countries like India, Vietnam etc. He said no, it at Syria. The moment I heard that, I was like kinda jaw dropped. So I jokingly said what he doing there. To fight against terrorism. He was smoking when we were chatting and he looked up at me and said ya I did dat. I stopped my grin and I know he's not joking. He said that he was sent dere as a special unit to defuse bombs if it needed. I was really dumbfounded. I only heard of all these from the tv or movies but I was listening to a real life experience.

This is what he shared with me. He was there for a year for mission to defuse bombs and at times would be involved in gunfire situations. The authority chosen him to be part of it it because he is single and there's no next of kins in Singapore. Means he is all alone here, without parents, family, gf. They need people like him without commitment. So a group of people including him were sent to Syria. Life over there was not easy at all. Unlike in Singapore, you can walk out freely to have a plate of chao kuey teow or having beer wif friends. Over there, you don't know when you will suffer a shot. During his birthday this year, he was defusing a bomb in a bus. I kinda sweat upon hearing that. The most memorable and til now still leaving him nightmares was he had to shot a 7 years old kid to death. You guys will be asking, why? Same question that I asked him too. He explained that during a gunfire situation with a Syrian man, 1 of his teammates suffered a shot on arm from the man. He fired back and the man was shot and collapsed on the floor and died. 1 of a kids dashed out to the street and cried beside the man. So could have believed the man was the kid's father. Suddenly the kid picked up the gun on the floor and started to fire at them. Z had no choice but to shot him. The kid died on the spot, beside his dad. He said this incident giving him phobia to like kids. His goid friend's wife is about to due and they wanted him to be the god father as they just wanna express their gratitude to him. He helped them alot financially. But, he kinda disliked the idea of being a god father as he don't really like kids now after that incident. I told him well, maybe when you get to see a new born baby, it wouldn't be that bad. What the Syrian kid did was out of love and hurt as he witnessed his dad died in front of him. If we were in the kid's shoes, we might did the same even though it to sacrifice own life.

He told me something which I think it true. In war situation, that's no God, no religion involved. God won't save you, only you can save yourself, fight for yourself. During a battle, 1 of his teammates literally pee in his pant. He started to pray to god, hoping god will save him. Z went to him and held his face and said sternly, look, there's no god here. God won't save you but only yourself. So pluck up and fight! He gave him a few slaps making sure he was awake from his thoughts. When I asked him so what he did there everyday. He said basically was escorting, patrolled the place, that's no internet so don't dream of facebook-ing, surf porn, smoking etc. I asked him so that's no life even chilling over beer. He said seldom but that's some places in town do sell some cold beer. So the next question I asked was so what if you have urge, do you find women to ease it? He said that everyday you are fighting your life and if that's chances to rest, it to grab the chance to sleep. There's no time to think about releasing urges. Most of the times they only have a chance to shower once a week. He told me something that really struck me. Most Singaporean will be worried about money, stress, work, etc. For him is a simple wish, able to see sunrise when he opens his eyes the moment he wakes up and glad to be alive for another day. He told me there are alot of shit stuffs that happened there that not many people will wanna know. You can go crazy over there. I couldn't believed his teammates and him could able to take it for a year. He said after being there for a year, his teammates and him decided to request to come back as they really couldn't take it over there. Even back to Singapore, they will choose to go a quieter place to chill than crowded places like Clarke Quay, Orchard etc. Even the sound of cars made him felt irritated as it reminded him of life in Syria where the sounds of cars and people that brought back flashback of battles situations. Even now he was back to Singapore, he was still trying to adept here, is too safe according to him. 

After hearing what he had said, I really think we are really very fortunate. Probably, in a comfort zone that we think we are very safe. But, we shouldn't have such thoughts isn't it? What if 1 day Singapore faces a battle situation? How are we gonna face it? Before I decided to write this true encounter, I was thinking was it appropriate? After thorough thoughts, I think I ought to. To let people knows what a big difference between our homeland and others. Over here, we can complain the slightest things, sometimes even publish it on Facebook or Stomp. Where people at other parts of world, is to survive every single day. So now my perception in life somehow changed due to what I heard Z had shared with me. Whenever I think life is tough for me, I will recall his story and thinking, compared to his, my problem is peanut. Like what he told me before he left, everyone will have their problems. Things will solve by it own will. Like what the Chinese phrase had said, 船到桥头自然直 which translated, the boat will head straight once it reached the bridge. As for Z, I don't know will you able to read this. I wish u all the best. You will be back again to Syria for the last time for your final mission next year after your birthday. Yoy are 1 of the few that deserve my utmost respect. Thanks for fighting your life not only yourself, but people around the world. I pray that you will be safe over there. I don't know will I able to see u again. I don't know by the time when you are back, will I still be around. I will do a favor for you. I will leave my email account available for you. When you are finally back, please send me an email to let me know that you are safely back here. This is what I wish for you. Once again, thank you and salute you! 

PS. It been a few years and that's a period I was retired. I still remember him and this encounter. I'm not sure is he still in military field. I still wish him the best and be safe in wherever he is at. Do remember guys, what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

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